Best Thread The Arcade Traders "Pit Stories" Thread

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Ok, this thread is for any of you former pit traders to share/reminisce some of the hilarities of the trading floor horseplay.

Tell it like it is... any and all practical jokes, gags on colleagues or clerks, harassment of the finer sex or floor visitors, fart competitions etc are welcome here.

Seen some great tales from the floor in other older threads on T2W, would love to hear the worst of it if you guys want to air the laundry :LOL:
 
shouting


B E A V E R !

at the top of our voices when ever a cute bit of skirt walked by was always fun.

cant say more or i will get banned for bad language, offending minorities etc etc
 
I don't qualify for this thread, but the now banished BBB had a tale of Chris Eubank visiting the floor (in years past) which is somewhere in the archives on this site.

(Charlie Chan - so you went into trading after your early film career finished, then? Most interesting.)
 
Lol, I'll spend a bit of time on monday digging up links to all those old threads, some good ones out there
 
LMAO! :LOL: :LOL:
now THAT is what this thread was created for!
pure quality, thanks Gamma! :cheesy:
 
what about that total dodgy bloke who went up to the artillery row knocking shop who then paid the good lady lota cash to treat him like a dog.....trouble was, he was howling so much that the lads who he went there with thought something was wrong so they bashed the door down to find him wearing no more than a dog collar getting whipped. so this must have been about 2am in the morning by 06.59am the whole of the floor knew the story so when he showed up at 1 minute past seven, he was met by the whole floor howling...especially for him
 
then there was that old classic at the pont de la tour when ashley found out he wasnt well liked when one of his dining partners stood up and stuck a wine bottle round his head...that stopped the chat for a bit!!!!!
 
christ this has started me off now, anyone rememeber ken clarke visiting the floor with his brown suedes??

or the stripper doing her stuff in the visitors gallery at the old royal exchange??? that was the day to be in the ftse pit for sure!!!
 
Does anyone remember the dip in the gutter opposite the main entrance to the Bank of England in Threadneedle St. which used to fill up with water on rainy days, and then the occasional passing vehicle would put its wheels in it and create a huge splash that would drench passers by caught unawares from head to foot. There was a sandwich bar on this side of the pavement in Threadneedle Street overlooking the very spot. We used to cross over from the Bartholomew Lane exit to the London Stock Exchange Floor to have a sandwich at this sandwich bar and a cup of tea and sat at the window laying bets amongst ourselves as to who would be drenched first. Wicked ! This dip has been since filled in by the spoilsport Corporation of the City of London.
 
And does anyone remember the unveiling of electronic display of prices for the London Stock Exchange featuring all the FTSE 100 constituents in which the Chancellor stood in front of a blow up and pressed the button to start it and began his speech, and suddenly....all the prices turned red...and he was so offended by this...that he ordered it to be turned off ?...ha ha ha !
 
And does anyone remember the cork pinboard on the Floor of the London Stock Exchange near to Wedd's pitch which displayed an array of ties ? These ties were snipped off and pinned there if they were considered to be "loud" or "inapropriate"....this was in the day when politeness was the norm...in the days of stiff starched collars when shoes had laces and trousers had braces and ties were quiet and everyone, from the most senior to the most junior, knew his place, and behaved in a proper manner befitting professionals.
 
Pitscum said:
christ this has started me off now, anyone rememeber ken clarke visiting the floor with his brown suedes??
Yes, I do, and what about the other Yokel who insisted on attending the Annual Banquet of the Mayor of the City of London dressed in a lounge suit instead of Tails like everybody else ?

Sartorial Hooliganism and Rock Bottom Crass Ignorance Personified.

Surely Moss Bros would rent him a proper tail suit if he does not himself own one.
 
And does anyone remember when ladies were first admitted on the floor of the London Stock Exchange and all the "special facilties" that had to be provided for them, and how it is that they "played at" entering a man's world but never bought anyone lunch or a drink , or were incapable of offering anyone a cigar ?
 
SOCRATES said:
Yes, I do, and what about the other Yokel who insisted on attending the Annual Banquet of the Mayor of the City of London dressed in a lounge suit instead of Tails like everybody else ?

Sartorial Hooliganism and Rock Bottom Crass Ignorance Personified.

Surely Moss Bros would rent him a proper tail suit if he does not himself own one.

was it common for floor traders to be invited to such highbrow society events?
 
Arbitrageur said:
was it common for floor traders to be invited to such highbrow society events?
Common floor traders are not invited to such highbrow events as you put it, but however, the individuals so invited would be expected at least to observe the bare minimum sartorial standard and not succeed in portraying themselves as yokels to the embarrassment of their fellow diners and the consternation of the nation. It is plain to see if you look at it reported on TV. So you don't have to be present yourself there to observe it and take note of it, as it is plain for all to see. Whether it is understood or not is another matter altogether.
 
SOCRATES said:
And does anyone remember when ladies were first admitted on the floor of the London Stock Exchange . . .

That's before my time but, many years ago in the late 80's I did work alongside Susan Shaw who was the first female stockbroker (and a very nice lady she was too).
 
Arbitrageur said:
I liked this story from the IPE floor, when greenpeace tried to stop oil futures trading:
http://www.timesonline.co.uk/article/0,,2-1487741,00.html

would be great to hear from anyone who was actually in there thumping the hippies!


Not quite in that league, but I once had the pleasure of removing a bunch of 'SHAC' (Stop Huntingon Animal Cruelty) protestors from the premises of a broker I was working at. There was a bit if a stand off for a while with about a dozen protestors pushing on one side of a glass door, and a similar numbers of dealers on the other ... I happened to be in the lobby so was on the same side as the protestors, watching on with mild amusement until the door shattered. One of our guys got a slight cut, so we considered them fair game after that - security cameras prevented too much aggression ... but I had to knock open that heavy wooden fire door with something!
 
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