[sqky]

One that made me laugh the most at the time........

New boy (runner) on his first payday 'twas a thursday so he was invited out with all the pit traders for beers................very very drunk. ...................Woke up at home in the morning with a bird in his bed. Emotions i can only assume were mixed between 'nutsin' and getting up late for work! Jumped out of bed explained he was late for work, she could let herself out and left her there. Only to be called at work by his irate mum explaining that there was a brass in the house refusing to leave until she was paid!!!!

I also remember the bird getting caught weeing on the train. For the rest of the day the entire floor made Psssssh noises everytime she tried to place orders into the pit! Very funny

[lurkerlurker]

{bump}

Great stories guys - lets have some more!

[GammaJammer]

Originally Posted by sqky

I also remember the bird getting caught weeing on the train. For the rest of the day the entire floor made Psssssh noises everytime she tried to place orders into the pit! Very funny

If you're talking about the incident I am it was a statuesque blonde runner (can't remember who she worked for) and it was on the way back from Ascot one year. And they did worse to her than that - someone lobbed a wet bog roll from way out in the bleachers and caught her square on the bonce as she walked down to the EuroLira pit.

GJ

[A Dashing Blade]

Not pit stories per se but snippets culled from a thread on the Nuclear Phynance forums . . .

Trader 1: "You bullish or bearish on crude?"
Trader 2: "I'm watching porn. I think that answers your question."

-------------------------------------------------

HeadHunter: So you sent me your CV with no explanation, what do you want to do?
Junior quant: I want to be a trader.
HH: Why?
JQ: more challenge, more excitement, more reward etc
HH: Tell me what trading experience you have so far.
JQ: No I don't trade, I am a quant.
HH: Come on, you must have traded a few shares or something?
JQ (perks up a bit): Oh actually I traded on the Singapore stock exchange this last year, I did quite well, I made a 30% return!
HH: And how did that index perform over the same time frame?
JQ: It went from 2000 to 3000....

-------------------------------------------------

Sales to MarketMaker: where's your offer on XYZ?
MM: 85
Sales to client: 85 offer
Client: I'm seeing better away...can you improve?
Sales: Lemme check...
Sales to MM: Could you be more aggressive?
MM: Sure...85 offer, you f*****g c**t!

-------------------------------------------------

Girl in Interest Rate Sales: "Why is USD/EUR trading at 0.7734 when EUR/USD is showing 1.2930?"

-------------------------------------------------

"You're so fat ... when you sit down ... the bund moves"

-------------------------------------------------

Bond option market maker answering phone: "Hi, what can I do against you?"

-------------------------------------------------

Risk Manager: "You're long 4,000 bonds from about a full point higher. Just wanted to bring that to your attention."
Trader considers . . . .
Trader: "You're right. Thank you. At these levels, I really should be long 8,000...."

-------------------------------------------------

http://www.nuclearphynance.com/Show%...2&PageIndex=15

[grantx]

A friend told me of the time a trader’s client, visiting LIFFE , was subject to numerous cries of “syrup”. I don’t know if he was also wearing brown suede shoes.

“Sales to MM”. That’s a good one.

Grant.

[toxictrading]

Whilst having the misfortune to be working as a runner at MFF i managed to walk round the floor for 45 minutes with the classic cardboard bow tie neatly tucked into my tie
nicely coloured luminous yellow and in big black letters the word C**T
oh how i laughed, should have given it to jamie beer (head runner at mff) as it would have suited him down to the ground

[lurkerlurker]

Originally Posted by A Dashing Blade

Not pit stories per se but snippets culled from a thread on the Nuclear Phynance forums . . .

HeadHunter: So you sent me your CV with no explanation, what do you want to do?
Junior quant: I want to be a trader.
HH: Why?
JQ: more challenge, more excitement, more reward etc
HH: Tell me what trading experience you have so far.
JQ: No I don't trade, I am a quant.
HH: Come on, you must have traded a few shares or something?
JQ (perks up a bit): Oh actually I traded on the Singapore stock exchange this last year, I did quite well, I made a 30% return!
HH: And how did that index perform over the same time frame?
JQ: It went from 2000 to 3000....

Lots of funny jokes, thanks! Very funny that the quant underperformed the index (30% vs 50%) - isn't that what they are supposed to do?

[grantx]

Any tales of David Kyte (pictured on the front cover of Sunday Times magazine, 1987).

Apparently he was the biggest trader in the Long Gilt pit, at one time holding more positions than the total underlying (I stand corrected on that point). The few guys I knew from Kyte were sound, but I never met him.

Wasn’t the FTSE options pit predominantly Dutch guys? Who were they?

A slight digression, this old (and best) thread from Elite Trader, especially contributions from billynomates and whodareswins, epitomises the unique English humour reflected in this thread. What happened to these guys?

It is crude, some of a sensitive disposition may be offended, but it is brilliant. Totally over the Yanks’ heads.

http://www.elitetrader.com/vb/showth...s&pagenumber=1

Grant.